Last Friday I provided useful tips for starting an engaging conversation with strangers. It seemed appropriate as I had a heap of parties to attend over the weekend and I knew I’d be meeting loads of new people.  Indeed, I did and the tips came in handy.

One of the best tips when meeting someone new was to ask “What keeps you busy these days?” and I am happy to report it’s a much friendlier way to start a conversation than “What do you do?”.  Well…… here’s an even better tip: don’t take what you overhear in a conversation to be true – especially when you are eavesdropping. To be fair, I wasn’t purposely eavesdropping.  I was filling my glass at the tap and the conversation was happening around me. It was hard not to hear what was being said.  I filled my glass, smiled at the group and quietly walked away without a word. Before I go any further, let it be known that this was my FIRST glass of beer. ‘Nuff said.

Here’s what happened:

About an hour after my fill-up at the tap, I was chatting with my girlfriend Tina, seated in grouping of chairs in the middle of the lawn. We were soon joined by the couple involved in the aforementioned conversation I wandered into the middle of and as they sat, we introduced ourselves and the conversation began (I’m changing the names to protect the innocent):

Me:  “Hi, I’m Valerie and this is my friend, Tina.”

Couple: “Hello, I’m Sonia.” 

                “Hi, I’m Jim.”

Me:  “Jim, I think I’ve seen you at one of J’s parties before. How do you know him?”

Jim:  “We’re friends.”

Me: “Sonia, I overheard in a conversation that you are from Spain?”

Sonia: “Yes, I am here visiting from Spain”

Me: “And, if I heard correctly, you are Jim’s Mother?”

…The couple stared at me in dead silence.  I MEAN, DEAD SILENCE.

Finally, Jim broke the silence.

Jim: “NO! We are colleagues. She’s here on business”

Sonia: “Oh my God, do I look that old? I’m only 2 years older than Jim” As she patted her face and furrowed her brow.

Commence utter embarrassment.  My size 10 ½ foot would have fit quite nicely in my big ‘ol mouth at that moment. In fact, it probably would have helped things. 

I scrambled to try and mend the conversation by frantically backpedaling through my sentences…

Me: “Well, let me just say that Jim, you look like you’re 18.”

Tina, who sensed that the train wreck needed rescuing, quickly chimed in:     ”I would say no older than 22, Jim.”

(Thank you, Tina. This is exactly why you are one of my best friends.)

Jim: “I’m 31.”

Me: “Sonia, I was going to say that you must have been 15 when you had Jim because you don’t look any older than early 30’s.”

I suddenly realized that I just insulted her again. I needed to just shut the hell up.

Me: “At this point, I am just going to insert my foot in my mouth and apologize… can we pretend that this conversation never happened and start over?”

Good golly Miss Molly. I need another drink.

Why am I telling you this? Because my BFF Tina leaned over a bit later and between snickers said “If you don’t blog about this, I will. It’s too good not to write about.” 

So, here I am.

I’m happy to report the next two parties went smashingly well (Note: both Sonia and Jim were also at party #2. I smiled and kept my distance for their safety) and I’ve learned my lesson. When overhearing a conversation between people you don’t know, remember nothing.  When you formally meet them, pretend that this is the first you have ever heard of them.  Having your foot in your mouth makes it much harder to drink beer. Take it from experience.

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